If writing is good for me, why is it depressing me?

Hand, Hawk Feather, Horizon, Moon

Investing the energy required to revitalize this blog has been good for me. It’s been on my list of projects for a while, and I am happy to be up and running again.

I feel good about my ability to write, even to choose interesting subjects and provide useful information or insight. As a creative person, who also plays guitar and draws, it is good to make something from nothing, and to be productive.

So, if writing is so good for me, then why is it depressing me now?

I know it is not the act of writing itself. I’ve written regularly before, and I’ve enjoyed the process; online collectible-card-art reviews, and personal essays for example.

I think the difference is that now I am writing with purpose. Everything else I’ve written, aside from work, has been for fun, nothing was at stake. Write to provide some insight into artistic merit? Sure, no problem. Thought I had an interesting story to tell? Absolutely, go for it. So I did, and each time I got all the rewards I wanted and or needed. Neat and tidy.

This launch is different though. I seem to be on a mission, writing with purpose. Now I am seeking to discover a voice as I navigate through uncertain times. That purpose includes tackling issues related to being unemployed at a particularly vulnerable point in the typical career arc. For that voice to be meaningful it must at least speak to me and my needs. So I write for myself as an audience, however, not just myself. How much better if that voice would speak to others as well. People who might be in a similar position. People who find themselves in transition, and who are trying to become the better person that they need to be for their own future.

Even while I strive to be positive in writing, and even inject a little humor when possible there is no denying that part of this mission touches sensitive areas and sometimes opens old wounds. The starkness of facing the reality of the situation after decades of life investment into a career that was supposed to last up until a normal retirement age is itself palpable.

Also, in order to provide honest insight as part of this mission, some things I write might not reflect well on either myself or my former industry. Either of these mightn’t bode well for me if a recruiter or other possible employer stumbles upon this blog.

So if you happen to be recruiter, a prospective employer, or even a former colleague, know that I do not mean to alienate you; I simply mean to write with a mission. If however you find yourself offended, remember I am not writing for you, or to you – I am writing for myself and for anyone else who might benefit from my experience or insight.

Since this seems a valid mission and if dealing with a little depression is the price to pay, so be it. Writing this time, with purpose, the course of my future is at stake. I know the personal rewards will come, because if nothing else, I have already benefited from the process.

Oh, one last thing – “Go at Throttle Up!


[PS: thanks to SCVInternetMarketers.com for the help that they’ve been in the process. Revitalization of this blog commenced when I attended my first meetup with them. On that occasion they announced a month-long contest to encourage members to either start, or re-vitalize their own blog, with the goal being consistency in posting. Along the way Chris, the organizer of the group, as well as other members, have been a great help.]

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