Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

The World Needs a Magical Scoop

Thursday, July 19th, 2012

Where’s my Magical Scoop?

What the World Needs Now…

…well maybe not the world, but at least me. This thing would come in real handy. Look at that big pile of change. Accumulated over time. Now what?

So, maybe its maybe it’s just me, but what I need…

…is a Magical Scoop!

I want this magical scoop so that I can dig through this box’o’coins and sort the  coins, and then, before I forget… the scoop has got to put the into properly counted rolls. Well, something else too, I want the scoop deposit the collected, counted and rolled money into my bank account.

That’s not asking too much, is it? What do you think?


Am I a Do-it-Yourselfer ?

Sunday, July 8th, 2012
my collection of DIY tools is small

Results are in – two out of five items is not enough!

As part of my search for meaning in the universe I am often wont to ask deep and probing questions. Today’s question is ‘am I a do-it-yourselfer’? How though might I answer such a question objectively?

Luckily I found a thread on that purports to identify the top tools a person would need in order to call themself a DIY’er.

Since their gimmick over there works as a vote-based sorting mechanism, I can be sure that if the internet community has passed judgement on what is needed, then I can be confident as well that I making a well informed assessment of my DIY status.

Top of the list – cordless power drill. Uh, OK…. last time I used one of these, it had a power cord, and I used it while rebuilding a bedroom closet, about 15 years ago. I still own it , but like I said, it has a cord. Zero points for me.

Next, I’d have to have a ‘good weight crowbar.’ Confession time – I don’t even have a ‘bad weight’ version and can’t think of a single use for one. Suggested uses, from the list includes: lifting, prying, bashing and ‘most importantly, against zombies and headcrabs.’ I do know some real-life zombies, but I’ve been shaving my head for a while now. Clubbing the former would be against the law (my zombies happen to be real people – although I don’t work with them anymore), and as for the latter, again, no hair, no headcrabs – you do the math. Still zero points for me. Not looking good.

Wow, pay dirt – I actually own the third item on the list – a good stiff measuring tape. Not sure why the emphasis on ‘stiff’; no matter – mine is; score one point for me.

Here’s one that is just plain common sense; everyone needs one of these – a first aid kit. What kind of idiot would not have one of these. Apparently, my kind, because I am ‘sans kit.’ I do have an assortment of band aids, I know better though than claim credit on such flimsy grounds. They are not the same. Stuck at one point.

I do have a utility knife, which is next on the list. I am surprised as you. Another point for me.

Considering my performance near the top of this list, 2 out of 5 so far, I am going to have conclude that no, I am not a DIY’er. I am other things though, just not that, and by golly, I am OK with that. I still know some zombies though – does that count for anything?

Look Ma — No More Bending!

Saturday, June 30th, 2012

Seems like things might be going downhill if you need this thing. But if you do, I suppose it’s a good option. After all, how often in life are you presented with the question – should I not bend, and let my feet stay dirty, or do I bend and wash my feet? Never again though – here comes EasyFeet to save the day – now you can wash your feet without bending!

With eye catching packaging, this product practically begs – buy me, you need me, you want me! Sporting an easy-on-the-eyes color scheme of bright green, white and light blue, the box lures its prey to the point of decision.

Good thing there was a little note in the upper left corner – “New!” This a relief to find out it’s new. Otherwise I’d blame myself for being out of touch if I’d somehow missed such a life-changing product had it been on the market for a while already. As it is, credit me with being on cusp of the wave for personal care product innovation! Yay for me!

The most prominent copy just about says it all – No More Bending to Clean Your Feet! Can I have an amen? Just when I thought I’d have to ignore my feet forever, all for the lack of bending, here comes EasyFeet to save the day. There’s more though, according to the copy. EasyFeet also exfoliates – “it smooths heels with pumice stone.” I’d worry though, if a person’s heels hadn’t been “smoothed” for a while – remember we can’t bend – is there only so much a pumice stone can do!

Good thing it has built-in ‘suction cups’ so as to be ‘secure in any tub or shower.’ I say good choice, because, anyone stupid enough to buy… uh, err, I mean, the ‘target audience’ might otherwise be tempted to double-duty these things as street wear.

What more can be said in praise of EasyFeet? Nothing. Tune in next time though when I review another godsend for the modern consumer. You can bet I’ll have a lot to say about ArmlessBrush –for those who, still want to brush their teeth, but can’t seem to muster the energy to bend at the elbow.